


Joey Claire, Extraordinaire

by Kamaxi



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 22:57:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12263799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamaxi/pseuds/Kamaxi
Summary: Between an absentee father and a babysitter who is one drink away from becoming a full-time alcoholic, Joey Claire has a lot on her plate for an average high school Junior. Her ex-best friend is a giant jerkwad, hernewbest friend is the most amazing troll who ever existed, and if she misses one more committee meeting she'll be kicked out of school leadership by that nasty witch Trizza Tethis. Add to the mix a complicated dose of baffling troll romance, and Joey's afraid she won't make it past Homecoming--let alone the end of the school year![Hiveswap AU]





	Joey Claire, Extraordinaire

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the Hiveswap High School AU that nobody asked for! You're welcome? Title taken from Joey's official theme on the OST.

Joey's eyes opened with a start as a loud THUD resounded through her bedroom, quickly followed by the telltale sound of glass shattering. She closed her eyes again in vain hope that she had somehow been dreaming, but the sound of her brother pounding away at something in his room assured her that had not been the case.

“JUDE!” she shrieked, knowing he could hear her through the wall. The sounds stopped, then continued, faster than before. Joey called out to him, “If I have to force my way into that room to see what mess you're getting into this time, so help me--!”

There was no reply, but the banging quieted enough that Joey was tempted to try and go back to sleep for however long she had before the bus came to pick her up. She groaned, reached for her phone on her bedside table and pressed the home button, cursing her parents for giving her a little brother as she saw it was 6:45AM. There was a small window of time that existed in which it was too late to consider going back to sleep but far too early to actually start getting up, and damn if Jude hadn't hit the nail it right on the head.

“Goddammit...” she muttered quietly, rubbing at the crust around her eyes. The home screen of her phone lit up as messages she hadn't received last night came pouring in. She opened her Trollian app, quickly swiping past the menus and ads to get to her messenger profile. There were three new messages –all from Xefros.

 

 **oxiMoronic:** so butler school is not very Xciting as usual and i thought i would send you another dumb fact of the day X:)

 **oxiMoronic:** did you know--the average human eats about 60,000 pounds of food in their lifetime, which is approXomately the weight of siX elephants!

 

Joey snorted into her pillow. Xefros and his dumb facts were endlessly amusing. The troll had developed a taste for them over the summer when they'd gone to see a local comedian whose entire compilation of jokes had been useless random facts. He'd claimed that they were "ironic", but the human girl didn't exactly buy it. She hadn't found it very funny at the time, either, but Xefros insisted that they were handy for entertainment-on-the go and had taken to texting them to her at random times of the day. Usually that ended up being when he was hopelessly bored in his etiquette classes, or in between practice sets after school with his band, The Grubbles.

Wordlessly, Joey thumbed to the most recent message, posted several hours after the last two.

 

 **oxiMoronic:** by the way im sorry if i was bugging you earlier i know you like your sleep i just thought you might like a fact of the day

 

The human girl rolled her eyes before typing out a reply.

 

 **primaDoctor:** the fact of the day was great! i told you to stop worrying so much about annoying me. it takes a whole lot more than you're capable of to get there, i promise.

 

Considering the matter of messages to be relatively cleared up, Joey checked her home screen again for the time--6:55AM. Well...even if it was early, she figured she'd better start getting ready for school. Goodness knows she would probably have to get after Jude to tear him away from whatever mysterious project he'd been working on and get him to eat some breakfast. If she was quick enough, they might even be able to have some microwaved waffles instead of just cold cereal.

She pulled on a pair of faded jeans and her favorite patchwork hoodie, stopping momentarily to run a brush through her thick hair. The attempt at taming only made the wide curls more unruly, but Joey paid no mind, shouldering her backpack and dance bag as she started down the stairs. After school today was ballet class, then she was supposed to be back at the school for a committee meeting, but she'd also told Xefros she would go to his band practice...

Ugh. She'd overbooked again. That meant she would have to cancel on Xefros, and the poor guy could hardly even handle it when she didn't text back immediately, let alone when she cancelled her plans with him. Joey hated to do it, but if she missed another committee meeting Trizza would have her thrown off the student council for sure, and she hadn't done all that campaigning last year for nothing! Xef would have to deal.

Half Harley Manor was cramped and cluttered as usual with her father's 'artifacts', and Joey continued the trend, paying no mind to where she tossed her bags by the door for later. A pile of old newspapers slid onto the ground from the impact, and the dark-haired girl simply stepped over it.

She saw Roxy's familiar figure sprawled out on the couch, facedown. A couple of wine glasses were precariously perched on the coffee table in front of her. Joey sighed and pulled a blanket off the edge of the couch and tucked it around the sleeping form before nudging the delicate glasses to a safer location further on the table. She didn't have it in her to be surprised that Roxy would not be awake and making breakfast--sweet and loving though she was, Joey had to admit the woman was a pretty irresponsible babysitter.

'She's better than Dad at least,' Joey snorted to herself, 'At least Roxy is here and not on some far-away continent digging up garbage.' To punctuate this, she kicked at the closest piece of said garbage, an armoire with figurines and other miscellany covering the top. A small miniature of a dog toppled over with a 'tink' and Joey immediately felt remorseful. 

She righted the figure. "I'm sorry, fella. You don't deserve my anger."

With Roxy asleep, breakfast was Joey's responsibility, and she hurriedly grabbed the box of microwaveable waffles out of the freezer and threw some on a plate, mindful of the time. She poured two glasses of orange juice and cleared two places as best she could from the cluttered table. Butter and syrup were placed wherever they would fit and Joey was about to go pounding on her brother's door when he came trudging down the stairs, combat boots making a trail of brown smudges on the wood as he came. How had he even gotten dirt upstairs? Joey decided she didn't want to know.

"Breakfast," she stated, and pointed authoritatively at one of the empty seats. Jude sat. He reached for his silverware, "Butter?" Joey offered.

"Affirmative."

They ate in silence for a few minutes, and Joey checked her phone for the time, noting as she did so that Xefros had messaged her again. She didn't have the time to check it.

"Did you finish your assignment for English class?" she asked conversationally.

Jude's reply was around a mouthful of waffle, "Yes. The final stages were completed this morning."

"The cause of your banging around this morning was your English homework?" She must have sounded incredulous, and rightfully so, because Jude looked at her strangely, as if that was a perfectly reasonable explanation. And to him, she supposed, it was.

He swallowed his mouthful and sipped at the OJ, "I needed to finish it. It's due today."

"You woke me up ungodly early, you know that?" Those fifteen minutes were everything in the mornings. 

Joey thought he might apologize but instead he nodded pragmatically, "I am aware."

The older Harley rolled her eyes as she began to clean up the plates. The leftover scraps were scraped dutifully into the overflowing garbage, while the plates found a home atop a mountain of their ilk. The one upside of an eclectic father was that no matter how long they went without washing, the house would never run out of dishes. Joey supposed that fact alone was a bit of an enabler.

The duo trudged out the door to the end of the driveway where the bus would arrive and Joey shifted her hips to get comfortable for the wait, eyes sliding over to regard her little brother from her peripherals. "So," she started, "When are you going to do the dishes?"

"It's your turn."

"It is not, you little turd! I have washed those dishes three times since you last lifted a finger and I refuse to do it again!"

Jude just shrugged, still staring off in the distance, "Make Roxy do it."

"We both know that'll never happen." Joey sighed, her breath visible in the chilly morning air. Arguing with Jude about chores was about as productive as trying to get Roxy to stop drinking. And that was to say that it was completely unproductive and wasted the time of everyone involved. Some people were just bone-deep stubborn and refused to take heed to Joey's wise and well-meaning advice.

Blowing out another cold breath, Joey checked her messages.

 

 **oxiMoronic:** i know sorry i do know we're good friends and you wouldnt be upset its just a habit

 **primaDoctor:** its ok silly! just don't worry about it anymore. have you decided if you're going to go to homecoming yet?

 

Joey looked up from her phone and saw Jude looking at her strangely.

"Are you talking to Xefros?" he asked. It was a rare occurrence for him to be asking about her personal life, and he must have sensed her surprise because he quickly looked away.

"Yeah, I am."

The school bus made its slow loop up their driveway and Joey grabbed her bags and did a mental check to make sure she had everything. She saw her brother kick at a stray rock with a bemused expression on his face, "That guy's super weird, even for a troll."

"Be nice," Joey snorted, though she couldn't really argue. "Not like you're one to talk, Jude Harley, bizarrely." A small smile grew on his face from the familiar nickname.

They boarded the bus and Joey took her usual seat three-quarters from the front and slid until she could lean against the window. The metal felt cold even through her hoodie. She saw Jude in his usual seat at the front, engaging the driver in a conversation about insects and thought again about his earlier comment. Xefros was very odd. He was a bit timid--an unlikely friend, but not one she was willing to take for granted. Sure, he was a little weird...or a lot weird, but he was also one of the most wholeheartedly genuine people she knew. Adventurous people were a dime a dozen here in Rolling Hills--Joey would choose someone who would always have her back over a fast-talking gunslinger any day.

'Not like Cyrus,' she scoffed, traitorous thoughts of her old best friend rising to the surface. They'd done everything together from the day they met on the first day of fifth grade until the beginning of their freshman year when he'd suddenly decided Joey wasn't good enough to hang out with him anymore because she took dance and theatre and always dressed for comfort rather than for looks. 

He'd invited her to Homecoming that year. She had been excited about it because if she was honest she'd had a bit of a crush on him--he'd been all sandy-blond hair and blue eyes and a mischievous willingness to walk into danger no matter the consequence. But it...hadn't ended well.

'Whatever,' she thought contemptuously. It wasn't like she hadn't bounced back pretty fast. She had been forced to stop Jude from stuffing stink bombs in his backpack a few times though.

Her phone buzzed in her hand and Joey saw the red banner that signaled a Trollian notification.

 

 **oxiMoronic:** homecoming?

 **oxiMoronic:** i mean i thought about going but they dont want the grubbles to play

 **oxiMoronic:** dammek was pretty mad but i dont mind so much. i think the school isnt ready for our sick jams

 **primaDoctor:** you're probably right about that. i like your music, don't get me wrong, but i don't think that its very...

 **primaDoctor:** school friendly?

 

And that was a nice way of putting it. Xef and Dammek's music wasn't...bad, per se. It was just unique in a way that made it almost unpalatable to her human ears. She wanted to support her friend, though, because seeing him so passionate about singing was pretty endearing, honestly. If it weren't for that blasted autotuned mic that Dammek made him use, Joey was sure he would sound a lot better.

But Dammek had made that microphone especially for Xef, and the troll could never even fathom betraying his morail by throwing it away or replacing it. His loss.

Joey leaned her face up against the glass of the window and watched the countryside pass by in a blur. Half-Harley Manor was out in the middle of nowhere, even compared to rural Rolling Hills, so the bus ride gave her ample opportunity to zone out before being forced to do Algebra and recite poems, or whatever it was they were doing today in English. 

She stared at the far-reaching fields, mesmerized. Nothing larger than a bump in the road for miles around. It was interesting that the town was named Rolling Hills--Joey assumed that was someone's idea of a joke, considering the land in the entire surrounding area was completely flat. They were halfway to the school when she remembered to check her phone.

 

 **oxiMoronic:** i can see how you would say that

 **oxiMoronic:** well anyway dammek isnt going so i dont know if i should go without him for lots of reasons

 **oxiMoronic:** he might get mad for Xample

 **oxiMoronic:** joey are you there? X:(

 

Whoops! Her zoning out had called attention to the odd mood she was experiencing this morning. Joey was usually the one who responded faster than the other person could type out their next thought. 

 

 **primaDoctor:** hey, sorry. ive just been thinking about stuff this morning, i didn't mean to ignore you.

 **oxiMoronic:** stuff like what? if you don't mind me asking

 **primaDoctor:** i was thinking about cy, honestly.

 **oxiMoronic:** ugh dont do that! that guy is the sorriest Xcuse for a friend

 **primaDoctor:** i know. i don't know why i even thought of him. he's usually the farthest thing from my mind. but now this thing with trizza keeps happening and he's always there! it's like she has him around just so she can gloat at me. as if i care about some ass from ninth grade anymore anyway.

 **oxiMoronic:** dammek says trizzas all talk but i know she gets to you

 **oxiMoronic:** i think she just likes the aXtion

 **primaDoctor:** you're probably right.

 **primaDoctor:** hey listen...speaking of trizza, i have to go to the committee meeting tonight after ballet.

 **oxiMoronic:** um...today?

 **primaDoctor:** yeah. i know i said i'd come to your practice tonight but if i skip this one then they'll actually have grounds to boot me.

 **oxiMoronic:** i dont Xpect they would do that joey you worked really hard to get elected

 **primaDoctor:** yeah but honestly i have been slacking lately. i really have to go! i'll make it up to you later, though. ok?

 **oxiMoronic:** ok, i understand

 

A minute went by without a response and Joey contented herself to an uneventful bus ride. Just as she was getting comfortable she was interrupted by her phone buzzing again.

 

 **oxiMoronic:** youre not mad at me are you i mean i dont think you are but i wanted to be sure

 

Joey sighed.

 

 **primaDoctor:** no xef, im not mad. i'll see you at school, ok?

 **oxiMoronic:** okay X:)

 

This time her phone stayed quiet. Outside the bus, the winter sun struggled to reach through the cloudy sky. It bathed the landscape in a watery grey that was more shadow than light. Even the inside of the bus was dark, and Joey could see some people taking advantage of the lack of light to catch a few more minutes of precious sleep.

Jude was still murmuring in quiet conversation to the bus driver, the soft tenor of her brother's voice and his dark green eyes sparkling with interest were the last things on Joey's mind before she followed the others into a light doze. 

When she woke up, the bus had pulled off to the curb in front of the school. She sat up with a start. All the other seats were empty--it appeared she was the last person left on the bus. 'Or almost last,' she considered. Jude was standing in the aisle next to her, hand resting on her shoulder. It was obvious he had just shaken her awake.

He looked at her curiously, "Joey, we're at school," he urged.

She yawned, "I'm coming," was her groan. With one bag slung on each of her shoulders, and feeling thoroughly like a pack mule for all the crap she had to lug around daily, she stood and made her way off the bus, little brother in tow.

They stopped at a small birch tree just outside the gate. It was their meeting spot here at school--every morning they parted ways here, and every afternoon they would meet here before getting back on the bus. Jude spotted his friends across the clearing. He waved a hasty goodbye at his sister and started towards them.

"I'll be home late today," she called out after him, "Tell Roxy I need her to pick me up at seven!"

Jude nodded without even turning around, already engrossed in his weird friends. Joey watched as he walked up to them and immediately received several playful punches to his arms and chest. She would never have pegged her dorky little brother as the type to hang out with jocks, but he'd taken to them surprisingly well and Joey was glad for it. Dinky Freshmen tended to get bullied, especially if they had weird interests and were socially awkward--both of which she attributed to Jude. Instead he had blown her expectations out of the water, joining the school newspaper almost immediately and quickly making friends with the guys on the stickball team.

Her brother and his friends rounded a corner and Joey figured she had better get moving herself lest she look like an idiot with a brother complex. Walking towards the gate, she saw her friend Clarissa chatting with the rest of the cheer squad, her mop of blond curls making her recognizable even from a distance. With a wink, Joey pretended to shoot at her with her hand poised like a makeshift gun. Clarissa spotted her and dramatically clutched her chest before dissolving in giggles.

Joey was about to walk over to the group, most of whom were now laughing and waving at her when she heard her name being called out across the yard.

"Joey!" Joey turned and saw Xefros at the gate. He was leaning against it, gasping for breath. In his hand he clutched a cup of coffee from Grub Hortons. "I'm so glad that I caught up to you!"

Somewhat recovered, but winded enough to be breathing heavily, he walked towards her. She met him halfway.

"Are you okay?" she asked, looking him over, "Did you run all the way here?" He did normally walk to school but it wasn't so far that he would have to run, generally.

The troll gestured to the coffee, which he handed to her with a smile, "I, uh, well I thought you would want some coffee so I went to get some. When I noticed what time it was I had to run to get here before the bell rang..." An anxious hand scratched the back of his neck. "I hope that's all right with you?" A light red flush painted Xefros' cheeks as he gazed at her with a tentative smile. 

"All right? It's great!" Joey enthused. She dropped her dance bag to cradle the styrofoam cup against her chest. The warmth radiated from the cup to her chilled hands. She took a small sip and nearly split her face with the resulting grin, "You got me a peppermint mocha? Xef, I freaking _love_ you!" Somehow this only made her shy friend even more red.

"I, uh, know it's your favorite. And since you were feeling kinda down this morning I wanted to make it up to you." Joey beamed at him. Xefros' expression was so sincere and caring that she was struck by how lucky she was to have him in her life. Gently, she tapped his shoulder with her fist in a pantomime of what she'd seen with her brother's friends earlier. He smiled.

Another sip in to her drink and Joey sighed contentedly, "Damn, Tritoh, you rock."

He grinned, "Literally!"

Joey would have followed that up with some response about how bad of a joke that had been, but she was cut off by the sound of the bell signaling that they had two minutes to make it to their first class. she reached down to pick up her bag but Xefros beat her to it, smiling goofily at her baffled expression.

"I got it, Jo," he snickered at her befuddled expression, "Let me get this for you. You have your hands full."

She bit her lip, not wanting Xefros to feel like she only kept him around to wait on her. But he had done all this on his own, she rationalized. If he wanted to do nice things for her today, than by Gog Joey would let him. She hitched her remaining backpack higher on her shoulder and headed to her first period with the troll following suit.

They passed by Clarissa and the cheerleaders who seemed in no big hurry to get to class, despite the bell. Several of the girls waved at Joey with various knowing looks in their eyes. Clarissa made kissy lips at her, laughing as she was summarily flipped off.

"Oh bite me, Clarissa," she called out.

Her friend continued her cackling, "Don't tempt me, Claire."

Xefros smiled nervously at the group of girls, who were still giggling to themselves. It wasn't surprising--he was notoriously bad at talking to women. Joey was sure it was a side effect of spending waaaaay too much time with Tetrarch Dammek, but it was what it was. At least he was fine around her, thank heaven for small miracles.

They made it to the door of her Chemistry class just in time for the bell to ring. Joey quickly grabbed her bag from Xefros' hands and scrambled inside, but not before giving his hand a thankful squeeze. "Thanks, Xef," was her grateful whisper.

And then she shut the door behind her and left him to run to his class, late.


End file.
